Billie Eilish gets real about her mental health and history of self-harm. The “bad guy” songstress discussed the emotional ups and downs she faced on her road to becoming a globally known superstar.
In a candid cover story, Billie told Rolling Stone that she first fell into a depression as a tween in dance class.
“That was the peak of my body dysmorphia,” she said, “I couldn’t look into the mirror at all”.
Things got worse when she quit dance after a growth plate injury. “It sent me down a hole,” She confessed, “went through a whole self-harming phase we don’t have to go into it”. “But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain” as she was at her lowest.
While her music career was on the rise “all I can think of is how miserable I was,” She explained of that time”. “How completely distraught and confused”. “Thirteen to 16 was Pretty Rough” while Billie has bounced back and considers 17 “the best year” of her life.
She’s still faced bouts of mental illness earlier this year, she had “one of the hardest weeks” of her life, as she prepared to embark on a seemingly endless tour schedule.
Billie Eilish said she suffered from uncharacteristic anxiety and panic attacks “cried for two hours every night”. And “Threw up twice from the anxiety” during that week.
She “felt unsafe” with herself, “even for an hour”. She later sought help from a therapist and made adjustments to her tour plans to prioritize her wellbeing.
“I’ve been pretty happy.” She told the mac of her tour so far “I’m really trying hard to make it as good as possible for me”. “Because I want to love what I do”.