Believe it or not, this year Harry Potter is celebrating his 40th Birthday. We like to cast a magical look at what life would be like for ‘The Chosen One’: is it in a midlife crisis or is it actually going well?
Although he may always remain in our heads that tiny kid from The Sorcerer’s Stone, “Harry James Potter” reaches the respectable age of 40 on July 31, 2020. Huh? Yes, in the books, of course, he was born on July 31, 1980, in Godric’s Hollow so you better work it out. Our (slightly too) wild fantasy turned immediately and took us to the world of middle-aged- Harry. Hold on!
Just to be clear: 40 is pretty … old, right? Especially when you consider that someone like Sirius Black was only 36 years old when Bellatrix killed him. And Snape, another example: it lasted for 38 years.
While watching the HP films, had we ever thought that Harry would reach such an age? Let alone that it also gets even older? In our opinion, the two were already so wise and experienced; if you say they were in their fifties, we would have believed it! What would Harry do at the age of 40?
Well … big chance that ‘The Boy Who Lived’ is in a big mid-life crisis! According to gossip journalist Rita Skeeter, he already had ” a pair of gray hairs ” at the age of 33. Phew, painful!
In addition, his top-secret and extremely stressful work as Auror for The Ministry of Magic caused another scar: a big cut on his right cheek. And we haven’t even talked about his life as a married man with kids …
Marrying childhood sweetheart Ginny is of course very fine, sweet and very ‘full circle’, but at a certain moment, the daily grind hits hard. Of course, you can achieve a lot like a wizard, but there are things that even a wand can’t fix. A slumped sex life for example. With three kids in the house and a stressful job, there will certainly not be a lot of trouble.
That’s how we prefer to remember Harry and Ginny…
Oh yes, talking about those kids: that’s not going so well, is it? If you happen to have seen (or read) Harry Potter and The Cursed Child, you know that the relationship between Harry and eldest son Albus is, to say the least, very dull. If that doesn’t spoil your zest for life, we don’t know anymore either.
This guest’s fantasy goes one step further:
As an average 40, you have just passed your physical ‘peak’ and you see the decline slowly coming into view in the form of a starting beer belly. Painful. And then you can be called Harry Potter: mother nature doesn’t give a shit. Even the Chosen One has to deal with bulging nose hair, aches, and pains when getting up, the need to take an afternoon nap and nightly toilet visits. And we see it this way: Harry, slumped in his lazy chair, doing a ‘Wingardium Leviosa’ to grab his can of beer.
Here is a selection of the ingenious hackers on Twitter:
We want to conclude positively. So far, our imagination paints a lifeless, extinct image of Harry as a 40-year-old. The magic is hard to find in his private life. What actually distinguishes him from a boring muggle with ailments? Well, spells of course – duh. But there is something else that not every forty possesses: a big bank account.
According to these calculations, Harry rakes around 319,996 Galleons during the films. This amounts to a messy 2.6 million dollars. Feel free to buy the newest Nimbus broom handle, Harry – you’ve earned it! Fly away before the midlife crisis gets you!